Dame souris… (French)


here is a lengthy but quite easy poem:

I know… Verlaine again.
A really good poet…
with his highs and lows in life.


Edit: I changed the text considering the points raised by Carlos.




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6 comments Add yours
  1. Nice poem, and the mice are great! Some little things:

    1. First stanza, second verse: soir looks like "sart" ("sart" does not exist though).

    2. Second stanza, second verse: dormiez (imparfait) doesn't make sense, shouldn't that be dormez?

    3. Third stanza, first verse: Parde? I think you wanted to write pas de. If you want to phrase it, the a goes outside the angle between the p and the d.

    4. Fourth stanza, second verse: For the word ronfle, one usually does not round the f-l in words that end with -fle: the f-l is written with an angle so that the ending can be distinguished from -ple.

    1. Hi, Carlos!

      Thanks for your reply…

      1. I agree, it goes up, it shouldn't.

      2. Dormiez didn't surprise me… I can say it's really like that in the poem. But if you want an explanation, I suppose it's one of the uses of the conditional in French, a way to express a wish.

      3. I really thought there was a phrasing there but I checked: it's not the case. "Pas du tout" yes… "Pas de" no. I will separate them…

      4. I verified… in the Anniversary Gregg Shorthand Dictionary: with the words with "flect", "flex" (like "inflection", "inflexible") the "fl" is not broken. With the rest of the words, the "fl" is broken (except "horseflesh"?). In the Sénécal, the ending "-flexion", the "fl" is not broken. In "Études graduées", it has "souffliez" that is not broken… I can break the curve… I suppose that if I had to write quickly, it would be less broken… or I can consider that it's like the ending "-ple" and just write "f" ? My "ronfle" is indeed too ambiguous to leave it like that, I will change it.



      1. The f-l is usually rounded in all words, except those ending in the suffix -fle, like all of those examples you mentioned. And, like you also wrote, to complicate this even more, in Anniversary, the l is also omitted in some words that end with the suffix -fle, following the abbreviating principle (similar to what you suggested with words with -ple). Since ronfle is not a common word (unless we are talking about pigs or snoring), I vote for writing it full.

        1. Didn't you mean the contrary with your first sentence?

          Anyway, I made the changes… even the "ronfle" (It's ugly now but the "f" is  well recognizable…)

          Thanks again, Carlos.


          1. Eventually, even "dormez"… Carlos was right. (I redesigned the stanza without thinking about the meaning hence the mistake. So when Carlos talked about it, I was thinking of "dormiez" of the fourth verse and I confounded…)

            Je suis confuse.


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