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Hello,
My attempt at transcribing the very first lines of Rousseau’s 9th promenade in les Rêveries du promeneur solitaire. Please let me know where my mistakes are (by DJS rules please) 🙂
I didn’t know how to write “permanente” the DJS way (I put a question mark on top of it). Didn’t know if “man” could be blended, whether to write “nente” with a big circle then the N-T blend, etc…
Thanks!
EDIT: I now realize how sloppy this first attempt was, so here is a (hopefully) more presentable one.
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Here is the original text, in case I get too hard to read back:
Le bonheur est un état permanent qui ne semble pas fait ici-bas pour l’homme. Tout est sur la terre dans un flux continuel qui ne permet à rien d’y prendre une forme constante. Tout change autour de nous. Nous changeons nous-mêmes, et nul ne peut s’assurer qu’il aimera demain ce qu’il aime aujourd'hui. Ainsi tous nos projets de félicité pour cette vie sont des chimères.
Thanks!
Good job! Proportions are good and the outlines are readable. For the most part, I see mistakes due to theory points, phrases, and brief forms that are missing.
Some outline corrections:
1. bonheur: b – n – r
2. permanent: p – r – m – a – n – a – n
3. semble: right s – a – n – b
4. continuel: k – t – e – n – l
5. d'y: d – e
6. peut – p
7. des: d – e
8. ce: right s
9. ainsi: e – n – left s
The l in semble is not written because -ble is an ending. Permanent is written without the mn blend, and permanente has the nt blend at the end, as you pointed out (p – r – m – a – n – a – nt blend).
Also, some of the outlines can be written together as phrases: ici-bas, sur la, de nous, ne peut, ce qu'il.
Thanks a lot Carlos ! Yes I am still working on memorizing the theory and the short forms, but I have noticed I remember a lot better when I make a mistake that someone then points out to me, rather than when I simply try to memorize the book by rote. I hope you won't mind if I keep posting a few short transcriptions like this and ask for your comments, that's extremely helpful.
Concerning the right S in semble, do you know the rationale behind it? When I write it, it seems less efficient because you have to write the full A circle (and even write on top of the S curve you've already written, to complete your A) while using the other S shortens the gesture needed to write the A… if you see what I mean…
Thanks again!
You’re welcome. No problem, I can make suggestions.
About semble, you wrote it with the correct s (the right s or comma s). Are you asking about that s or the other s (the left s)? What you describe happening makes me think you're talking about the left s instead (the one that doesn't look like a comma).
Oh, right, I'm sorry, I thought you mentioned semble in your corrections because I wrote the S wrong, but now I undertstand the problem was with the extra L. Everything is clear now, thank you!